Coming from the tough
love school of spiritual counseling as I do, I feel that
it is only fair to warn you, there are no 10 easy steps
The roads leading to Queendom are diverse and many. The
way to Self-esteem can be complicated and long. Each woman
must take her own path, make her own trail, clear a passage
for herself through the thick brambles that reach up to
trip her. What roads do exist are unmapped, bumpy, and full
of potholes, tumbleweed, and road-kill. There are no shortcuts
along the Queen's Highway, no services, no shoulders, no
signage, but many detours and cul-du-sacs. And the fare
can be exorbitant.
As Dear Abby, Abigail Van Buren, once noted, "If we could
sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd be millionaires."
Like any grand journey, the trip toward self-dominion requires
stamina, determination, and the passionate desire to travel.
But if we pack properly, check our tires frequently, and
take time for picnics, the adventure is incomparable. And
the destination of Self- empowerment is majestic.
The Queen chooses to engage Her Self despite difficulties.
Our Queenly assignment, should we choose to accept it, is
to identify, understand, and connect all the component parts
of our Selves, to attempt to develop and balance them equally,
and to maintain them all in good working order. The Self
is like a jigsaw puzzle or a quilt that promises to become
a beautiful whole if we spend the necessary time and concentration
to assemble it. It is at once the puzzle, the parts of the
puzzle, and also, most importantly, the process of piecing
them together. The ideal of the Queen inspires us to design
the artful patchwork of our own lives designed from the
wild and wonderful patterns of our own personality and experiences,
and crafted from our individual inner authority. Once we
do, we are able to shift into a new stage of life, a new
state of being,
a renaissance rebirth, ready to rule.
The Self is the seat of sovereignty of the Queen. It is
Her throne and Her domain, at once Her base of power and
Her field of operation. Stepping into our sovereignty involves
an almost alchemical process of adding, extracting, refining,
combining, and recombining the myriad elements that make
up all of our parts in the constantly evolving effort of
perfecting the power of our best Selves. The holy elixir
that we seek is the transformation of the painful, rejected,
neglected, wounded, unsatisfied, unsatisfactory parts of
the Self, into the unified, organized, energized, golden
glory and grace of the fulfilled Queen. It is through our
sincere and complete participation in this process that
we learn how to recognize, claim, and proclaim our own true
power. The power of the fully engaged Self.
There are no rules, no recipes, no prescriptions, no instruction
manuals, no precise formulas to follow when it comes to
pursuing the daunting process of Stepping into Sovereignty.
This does not, however, mean that anything goes. Just as
in life, itself everything counts. Every single solitary
thing that we do or don't do, think or don't think, matters.
This is the bottom line of our responsibility — to
ourselves and to others. Our intentions have to be perfectly
pure and our attention to the details of our process has
to be focused and disciplined, and in exact alignment with
our intentions. The quality of our engagement needs to be
really right, not according to the standards of anyone else,
but only according to our own inner truth.
Clearly, the purity of our Intention and Attention assures
that there can be no cheating or cutting of corners in our
search for inner wisdom and power. What would be the point?
We would only be short-changing ourselves. When we commit
to engaging in the process of our own transformation, the
search for our inner wisdom, the development of our self-esteem,
the elevation of our status and standing, we are consciously
choosing to accept total cause and effect accountability
for our own lives and living. And since the decision to
pursue our personal sovereignty is ours and ours alone,
made with clear Intention and without outside direction
or duress, we must own our process. Our Attention, our outlook,
our approach, and our procedure must be unimpeachable, our
attitude positively impeccable.
Far away there
in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach
but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them,
and try to follow where they lead.
—Louisa May Alcott
Although the Queen is an excellent role model and source
of inspiration, we don't need a teacher or a guru to tell
us what we should do for our Self-development, or how we
need to change and grow. Each of us knows perfectly well
what is right for us. Informed by the four parts of our
being — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual
— we know in our heart, our mind, our gut, and our
soul when something is right, because it feels right. And
when something feels wrong, we certainly know that, too.
The answers to our confusion and questions, our yearnings
and longings, are right here inside of us where we keep
them safe and warm — perhaps too safe, hidden secretly
away in the corners of dark caves, far away from our own
Our lessons, and our understanding of them, are often not
immediately available or obvious to us. They often come
encoded in signs and symbols that seem like a foreign language.
But, no matter how difficult, it is up to us to access them
if we dare. If we care to earn our sovereignty, we must
excavate the buried treasure of our own value and infinite
worth. Our coming into power depends upon it. If we do take
up the challenge to explore and mine the depths of our Selves,
we will discover the unexpected caverns of courage, phosphorescent
pools of passion, and glittering, crystal-rich veins of
gem-like wisdom running through their passages and crevices.
All we need are the right tools to get at them, extract
them, and polish them. And I don't know about you, but nobody
ever told me that it was going to be easy.
comes down to the same necessity:
go deep enough and there is a bedrock of truth, however
American writer and poet